Conversations With My Brain

5am after only 3 hours of sleep on a lovely May morning…

Me: I really need to go back to sleep.  You aren’t going to let me though are you?

Brain: No, not so much.

Me: Come on, just for a little while longer. I am so exhausted, I just need to rest.

Brain: Well, maybe. But you need to make sure that you don’t forget some things.

Me: Ok, I promise I won’t forget.  What do I need to remember?  Just tell me and then I can sleep.

Brain:  You can sleep if you do not forget the following: 

Vacuum the car, transfer your laundry to the dryer as soon as you get up so you have something to wear, your doctor’s appointment Tuesday, empty the cat boxes, do dishes, solve the problems with world peace, clean off your desk, HIDE, go grocery shopping, finish writing your novels, pay your library fines, figure out how to stop pollution around the world, figure out what you are going to do about your friend and that mess, WRITE, fold and put away laundry, scrub the floors, solve your problems with your family and bring about family unity, work on the blog, bathe the dogs, vacuum the house, keep trying to not throw up all the time, rotate your tires, FIND A JOB, call your mom, figure out why people come to you to progress and then leave you, spreadsheets for work, take the dogs to the vet, mow the yard, ROOMMATE, clean out the fridge, go to the grocery store, research more on OCD treatments, make the tiny amount of money you have stretch for 4 months instead of 1, study politics and figure out how to fix them so that they actually work, clean the house from top to bottom and throw out crap, try dating again, work out, finish the painting that is 5 months overdue, call your dad, meditate, exercise, talk to your friends, bare your soul to the world and then wonder why you get hurt, groom the cats, fix your printer, order printer ink and wonder how you can pay for it, BE CREATIVE, help others, find time and partners to play with, travel to somewhere new, have friends over for tea, re-varnish the floors, re-paint the house, RUN, turn the well house into a studio, learn suspension, lay in the hammock and read, play with the dogs, figure out how to solve all the problems at work, leave a clean desk when you leave work, FIND A FULL TIME JOB, make your bed, cook healthy meals for yourself and actually eat them, finish writing the cookbook, write the course materials for the 8 classes you have in mind to teach, teach your friend how to install the lock on her door, HELP OTHERS, swim, learn to sew, fix the air conditioners that aren’t working right or are dying, fix the lawn mower, organize the library, catalogue your books, clean out your closet, study for the massage boards, catalogue your movies and music, play your drums, SHOW NO WEAKNESS, train the dogs to not jump the fence…

Me: But…

Brain: …fix the fence, take the dogs to the vet, write up notes for the doctor’s appointment, get a pool for the dogs for the summer heat, re-lay the brick on the dog patio, trim the fig tree, clean off the carport, re-do your window altar, call P to get CODA books for you the next time she is at the meeting, READ, look up the totem information on turtles, write about the pow wow, remember how good yesterday was, count your meds, paint your toenails, clean the shower, fix faucet, buy sheets, hang your pictures in the library, do the cut work for your vest, clean out the attic, forget that you know there is a loaded gun just down the hall, find some time to sleep if I and your body can agree when, look into sleep study grants or scholarships or pro-bono, research c-pap settings, DRAW, use your exercise ball sometime, fix the futon mattress, re-cover the couches, study tea ceremonies, wash the windows, trim the hedges, take the library books back, take up your camera again, ROOMIE, learn German and Russian, figure out how you are going to do SELF, get to meetings, keep modifying your plan of eating, keep in touch with people…

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This is just a sampling of what one morning in my head is like upon waking.  There will be more conversations on many more days to come I am sure.  lol