Unruly Body Tuesday

Well if I am honest that’s more like an every day thing. Today was weird because I felt like I was on speed and going 1000mph. However my pulse was normal and I wouldn’t have said no to a nap. So the brain is going bonkers but the body can’t back it up….nothing new there!

Went to see my doctor for my quarterly check up for the OCD meds. She wants me to see the cardiologist as soon as I am back on insurance to check on the panic attacks. She isn’t saying that it is cardio related but since we can’t pin the panic attacks to any triggering events or other stimuli she wants me check out since symptoms can be similar. NONE of the usual things I do to decrease or stop the panic attacks work, up to and including my emergency, last ditch meds (though those do dull it a bit some of the time).

That scared me more than anything recently. My grandmother had several heart attacks before the last one was the fatal one. I am more close to her in body type than with my mom so that’s always been in the back of my mind. It scared me also because in 2015 there was a hiccup on my stress test but it came back as nothing at the time. Add the Lupus to that mix and I am understandably, I think, freaked out. I am overdo for the re-check but it’s had to be shelved because of insurance and finances.

I am feeling overwhelmed with all the things going on right now: health, one income finance juggling, wedding in 24 days, yard needing work, house needing cleaning, and so forth. Now this worry and I am just done for today. Tomorrow is a new day and I will begin again.