Most Days…..

Most days….

I am thrilled and grateful to have my program, my tools and a good paradigm to work from.

Then there are the days where I have to do really tough things that mark me as an adult who tries to lead a healthy life. These things can be really uncomfortable to downright painful. In those moments, some days, I wish I got to be like people who don’t have a program and just get to be pissed of at everyone else and blame other people, etc.

In truth, when the dust clears, I will still be glad to have my recovery, the tools, a good base that I work from and I will be thrilled for the opportunity at growth to being a better me.

However, right now, in this moment, in the middle of the sandstorm it hurts. I am tired of getting hit with rocks & crap and I am just tired. I know in the morning I am going to have to start looking at what it is in me that brings me back to this place & how I end up here again. But for tonight, I just have to feel the pain and make peace with it.

Amazingly this really only has to do with food in that all the feelings really made me want to act out…I have managed so far not to. I just mostly needed to share about the fact that some days being self actualized and on a path of growth can be painful as well.