But, It Will Make It Better…Maybe

So I have been wonky as heck since last Thursday night’s trip to the ER. The weekend was spent trying to find some way to be physically comfortable without really any success. I got froggy and thought I could make it out to a munch on Sunday; BAD idea. For which I am admittedly known for on occasion, especially as pertains to my thinking I can tank something I shouldn’t. You think I would have learned by this point…

Sadly, not so much apparently. So, back home I came Sunday to crash & burn. Monday brought with it a host of things I, again, thought I was up for. Going to get Michael’s taxes done (3+ hour ordeal), taking his car to the shop and then off to the cardiologist. I went in feeling fairly confident to the appointment and came out feeling not so much. *sigh*

Bless the doctor, really and truly. He said my EKG matches the one from 2yrs ago almost exactly. However he can’t use the stress test from 2yrs ago even though it was fine at the time too. (Can’t agree more with him.) So, he wants to do a stress test & possibly an arteriogram but will hold off until I have insurance again (June 1st); unless something else happens & we are forced to do them. Why? Because you can easily meet your yearly deductible and then some with just ONE of those two tests. Can you say hella expensive? He initially was inclined toward Costochondritis though there were several symptoms that didn’t fit. He said there may be a couple of things going on simultaneously and to that end wanted to try Nitroglycerine to see if it had any effect. He said if it didn’t then we would just go along as planned with the Costochondritis diagnosis until stress test, etc. So I am thinking ok, no worries it won’t do anything because I was convinced it was Costochondritis too though it could possibly be Tietze syndrome. Either way, nothing to worry about in my mind.

Yeah, until the first Nitro pill did make a positive difference in my pain level. (There may have been whining to Michael at that point about not wanting to take Nitro pills…this can neither be confirmed or denied currently.) The second pill had even more effect. Well, damn. So, he sent me home with a prescription for time release Nitroglycerine for two weeks and then I come back to see him.

The fast acting Nitro caused a definite increase in cranial pressure almost to a headache. The doctor and the nurse said “Yes, a headache can be a side effect of Nitroglycerine.” Ok, I can take a headache, I am used to migraines, no problem.

The time release Nitro, first dose the next day, is evil incarnate! WTF? I wanted to lose consciousness just to not feel the pain and nothing worked to make it any better. I have had migraines since I was 10, this made them ALL pale in comparison. How in the bloody hell can a vasodilator (which is what my migraine meds are) do this to me? That’s what I kept moaning and thinking when I wasn’t silently begging for unconscious oblivion.

Needless to say, the cardiologist got a call this morning. Their answer: “Hang in there, it usually lets up after a week or so.” Dear gods, really? I explained to her about migraines & this being worse. So in the end she said: “If it’s not decreased by Friday call me back. We don’t want our patients suffering needlessly.” Um, ok. 

Needless to say I wasn’t very sanguine about taking today’s dose but I did it because well, I want to feel better. No, the irony does not escape me here. Interestingly this is a pattern with modern medicines for me at times. The first time I really got a doctor to listen to me about the OCD and only treat me for the anxiety (and not the depression that every doctor before believed it really was) the medicine was hellacious. I was sick for about 5-6 months straight until they finally got me titrated up to the therapeutic dose. If there is a wonky side effect to be had that many people don’t get, you can almost bet I’ll get it at least in the beginning. I suppose I should be heartened that this is a common side effect for most people.

So for today I am forging ahead, trying to function even with the pain because I can’t just sleep through the next 3 days. Right?